Why Did the Manager Look Uncomfortable? Understanding Keigo (Polite Japanese)

If you’re living in Japan or planning to work here, you’ve probably heard of keigo—the system of polite language in Japanese. But when should you use it, especially if someone speaks casually to you?

Let’s look at a real-life scenario through the eyes of Alice, a foreigner starting a part-time job in Japan.

Story: Alice’s First Day at Her Part-Time Job in Japan

Alice just started a new part-time job at a local shop. On her first day, the store manager greeted her:

「おう、アリちゃんか！明日あしたからよろしくな！」
(“Hey, it’s Alice-chan! Looking forward to working with you from tomorrow!”)

Alice had learned about keigo before. But since the manager spoke so casually, she thought she should match his tone and replied:

「うん！よろしく！」
(“Yep! Let’s do our best!”)

But the manager suddenly looked… awkward. Confused, Alice wondered: “Did I say something wrong?”

Explanation: Why Matching Casual Speech Isn’t Always Okay

In Japanese, politeness isn’t just about words—it’s about showing respect for relationships, age, status, and social roles. Even if someone talks to you casually, especially someone older or in a higher position, you’re still expected to use polite language.

• The manager used casual speech (ため口ためぐち) to be friendly.
• Alice thought it was okay to reply casually.
• But in Japanese culture, this can seem disrespectful, especially if you are younger, new, or less experienced.

That’s why the manager looked uncomfortable. Alice didn’t mean to be rude—but in Japanese communication, the listener’s perspective is very important.

Keigo 101: What Is It and When to Use It

敬語けいご is the system of polite and respectful Japanese. It’s generally used when:

• You’re speaking to someone older
• You’re speaking to a boss, teacher, or senior (先輩せんぱい)
• You’re in a formal or professional setting
• You’re meeting someone for the first time

Even if the other person speaks casually, it’s often safer and more respectful to speak politely until you are invited to be casual.

Examples:

• Casual: うん、よろしく！
• Polite: はいはい、よろしくお願いしますよろしくおねがいします。

So What Should Alice Have Said?

Instead of “うん！よろしく！” a better reply would have been:

「はいはい、よろしくお願いしますよろしくおねがいします！」
(“Yes, thank you! I look forward to working with you!”)

This would have shown respect, even if the manager was being friendly and casual. It’s always better to err on the side of politeness in Japanese culture, especially when you’re new.

Takeaway: Use Keigo Even If They Don’t

In Japanese daily life, it’s common for one person (like a senior or boss) to speak casually while the other (a junior or new employee) responds politely. This is not considered strange—it’s respectful.

Remember:

• 敬語けいご is about hierarchy, not just feelings.
• Don’t just mirror the other person’s tone—think about your relationship.
• Politeness builds trust and helps avoid misunderstandings.

Conclusion

Learning when and how to use 敬語けいご can be one of the biggest cultural challenges for foreigners in Japan. But by watching for social cues and defaulting to polite speech, you’ll make a great impression and avoid awkward situations like Alice’s.

So the next time someone says “よろしくな！” to you—smile, and reply with 「よろしくお願いしますよろしくおねがいします！」

Related keywords: Japanese keigo, Japanese polite speech, keigo vs tameguchi, how to speak formal Japanese, Japanese for beginners

Source: Japanese cultural norms, real-life workplace etiquette, Japanese language textbooks